Social Media – Friend or Foe
The internet is incredible. Mr google can answer all our questions and show us where to get everything we need. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram keep us connected to all our friends and we can share how perfect our lives are!
I was walking my dog this morning and a young mother and her child, in a buggy, passed by me. I smiled to myself as I heard the little girl singing away to herself. Her mother was absorbed on her phone and totally oblivious to the little girl’s song. I felt sad for the mother and the child who were missing out on an opportunity to connect to each other.
Before the miracle of the internet and social media, a time like this would have been a perfect bonding time, where the mother and child could connect. Maybe singing along together or the mother telling her little girl how lovely her song was. Being able to point out to the child things that they came across on their walk.
We all know and have known for some time the effect of social media on mental health. The more we are connected on social media the less we are actually really connecting with each other.
I recently watched a documentary about social media and it has made me reflect
on the affect social media has on the self-esteem and self-worth of people. These platforms tend to give out unrealistic expectations of ourselves.
Before social media there was still people with low self-esteem. People with insecurities about the way they look and body issues. These issues are not new and have been with us for generations. Today however we can’t seem to get away from these unattainable, unrealistic conditions of worth that these platforms impose on us.
Social media is having a negative effect on our young people’s self-worth. Our young people are being cyberbullied. Again, bullying is not new. It has also been around for generations but today people cannot get away from it as it comes home with us in our pocket or bag. It is there in our room when we fire up our laptops.
When we put something up on our Facebook page we then wait for the “likes” and positive comments to make us feel good about ourselves. But what happens when we do not get the likes or nice comments? Or our friends get more likes and comments then we do. This can lead to negative feelings about ourselves.
When we rely on positive reactions from others for our self-worth this can be counteracted by negative reactions from others. Not everyone will like us or agree with us. Low self-esteem develops when we start to hide who we are to please others so that they like us.
Social media model’s people showing their perfect lives. They show filtered images and people living the dream. This is not a true reflection of how life really is and young people can tend to buy into this as reality and therefore their life does not measure up.
There can be a pressure on some people to respond to every post. This can be a real pressure and very time consuming. Or what happens when you do not get a response to your post. It all feeds in to low self-worth.
It’s a bit of a vicious circle because if you are not on social media you can feel disconnected as all of your friends are on it. But the more we are on social media the more disconnected we can become from each other.
I suppose we have to find a balance, as we can’t go back to before social media. We cannot put the “genie back in the bottle”. So, going forward how do we develop a healthier relationship with this genie. How do we use social media to enhance our lives and not take over them.
Of course, there is a positive side to social media. It does keep us connected to people who we could otherwise have lost touch with such as old school friends or friends and family that live in other countries. It is a good business marketing tool. It enables me to do this blog and share it with you. On the negative side it can be addictive and you can spend a huge amount of time on it. As said in this blog, it can lead to poor self-image and worth. It can lead to isolation with less and less face to face contact. It can lead to not spending time connecting with loved ones.
A final thought. Social media has its positives and can be very useful and life saving for a lot of people. However, remember you can show someone that you like who they are in person as well as on social media. So, tell your friend and loved ones in person that they are important, that they are loved, that they are funny and clever and beautiful. That they are enough as they are.
I also hope that you have people in your life that can tell you, that you matter and that you are important, you are enough.
What Is your experience of social media. Do you think it is a friend or foe or both?